My So Called LIFE

Kay, so apparently my computer blocked this and I had to go to hell and back to be able to unblock it. School has been interesting. Nothing much has been going on so far, but oh well. I have strep throat and fever so I’m staying home today instead of going to school, but oh well. Found a new song that I like and it took me a week to find out what it was, but now I’ve found it and I’m so happy. It’s called Holding Out for a Hero by Frou Frou. It’s a remake of the original 80′s song. Usually, I hate remakes, but this one is so good it’s hard to not like it. I’ve been ridding the world of Chicken Noodle Soup today. I’ve downed about 3 cans, and I’m about to make another one. My throat hurts so much. I guess that’s kind of the point of strep throat. I got a stupid pre-recorded message from my school telling me that I was absent that day. My mom forgot to call the school. Ugh. That’s just liker her. Oh well, it doesn’t really matter. I started taking BCP’s on Sunday, and I haven’t seen any change yet, but I don’t think that it’s really supposed to help until the second month or something. I’ve been checking facebook every few minutes hoping that I’m not the only person left on the face of the earth. Oh well. I’m so tired. My parents woke me up this morning to tell me that I would have to wake myself up today. lol. Whatever, I don’t really care, I’m just glad I’m getting a chance to rest and get better.

Summer has been surprisingly nonchalant this summer. Not completely boring, but not supercrazy fun either. I’ll be taking off for Hawaii soon though. I just found out that this new computer doesn’t block wordpress. WHOO-HOO! I’ve been iPod crazy lately. I know no one reads this but if I got even one comment I’d write so much more.

Playlist:

They by Jem

Speeding Cars by Imogen Heap

Glittering Cloud (Locusts) by Imogen Heap

Right Round by Flo Rida

Angel by Natasha Bedingfeld

Personally,
I believe that I am predicting the next popular music… so listen to them…

I wonder what being in love feels like. I mean every day around the world people are in like, but what does love feel like? Do you know when it hits you, or does it just creep into your life as if it’s been there all along. At this point I am in like, but a very deep like. He’s my neighbor. He’s in my grade, and this is going to sound crazy but the second I looked at him there was a little zap in my chest like my heart was trying to jump out of my body and latch itself onto him. Anyways I’ve been feeling kinda depressed today. Oh well it’ll pass…I hope.

Okay it isn’t really sick and wrong until you think about it but do you ever find it weird that goats have ‘kids’? Oh, well I guess we know where all the orphans come from…

As I was walking down the halls of my less than average school (I’m talkin waaaayyyyy less than average) today, I happened upon a note. It was a thin piece of notebook paper calling my name. I am always very curious so casually I walk over to it and slide one of my books off my ever growing stash of crap that I bring with me to every class because they won’t let us have backpacks in the classroom (crazy right?). Kneeling down to ‘pick up my book, I stash the note into my pocket, and rush off to class. I waited through the remaining three 50 minute periods, itching with anticipation all the while. I mean I couldn’t read it in class with my teachers who have way too much time on their hands are continuously watching me like a snake looks at a small rodent. The milli-second the school bell rang signaling dismissal, I bolted out of my seat to my locker and into my parent and/or legal gaurdian’s maroon pickup truck. Without saying a word I viciously opened the note and you will never believe what it said:

On the front it said:

 Hey

and on the back it said:

Hi.

Don’t you hate it when that happens? Has it ever happened to you before? Sometimes I feel so alone in this world of geekiness. I mean everyone acts as if money and beauty are the only things that are important in life. Does anybody but me see the shallowness of it all? As fellow writers or even just internet surfers, can’t you see how stereotypical madness is affecting life as we know it? The media causes most of it by saying that if we don’t ‘cleanse our faces with this new product’ or if we don’t ‘eat THESE pomegranites we will die a horribly greusome and slow death’ It’s all crazy. I don’t support the hippies on some things, but on the whole peace thing I’m totally with them….. I mean, why can’t people just let other people be instead of tearing each and every person out of their path of destruction? Being popular is way too overrated anyways. Popularity is like a mountain. You strive to get to the top hoping you’re still in good enough shape to enjoy the veiw. If you don’t give up before getting to the top, you’ll at least scrape your knee or something. When you’re at the top people don’t look up to you because they’re still too busy with trying to reach the top for themselves. There is really no reason to strive to get to the top, because just as my mom said when I was convinced that I was the worst violin player in the history of violins “There’s always someone more talented than you,” she also said that it cuts both ways and there is also always someone worse than you too. Have you noticed how shallow people have gotten? Sadly, shallowness has also wiggled it’s way into one of my favorite things: music. Do you have any idea how much more depth music had in earlier days. Okay well they were stupid lyrics like ‘then Sally-Ann stole my banjo and ran off with Billy-Jo’ but it’s a lot better than “ Hey, I ain’t never seen nothing that’ll make me go
This crazy all night spending my doe
Had the million dollar vibe and a body to go
Them birthday cakes they stole the show
So sexual
She was flexible,
Professional,
Drinking X&O
Hold up wait a minute, do I see what I think I whoa
Did I think I seen shawty get low
Ain’t the same when it’s up that close
Make it rain, I’m making it snow
Work the pole I gotta bank role
I’ma say that I prefer her no clothes
I’m in to that I love women exposed
She threw it back at me I gave her mo’
Cash ain’t a problem I know where it go (she had them)”

That was from a song that many people listen to every day on the radio. Seriously no one listens to lyrics anymore. They like the beat so they mindlessly repeat the words like a freakin puppet going through the motions. No one knows music anymore except (in my  um CORRECT opinion) Imogen Heap. She’s awesome and such an inspiration. Her music teacher and her had a few squabbles (i luv that word) so finally the music teacher just let her teach herself. So thats exactly what she did. She created her own type of music with REAL  words and REAL meaning. She doesn’ care what anyone else thinks about her. She’s my role model. I have also become quite addicted to the Left Behind series. Right now I am on the fifth book ‘Apollyon’ and it’s kinda hard to follow but very good. I really want someone to reply so I don’t feel like I’m talking to air. Thanks. Until tomorrow this is fleebob434, signing off!

Okay this isn’t supposed to be gross, but When you take a shower do you feel better or worse? Usually I feel better because I feel clean and refreshed, but today I feel like the water was horse poop and the shampoo was cat urine (did u know that cat urine glows under a blacklight?) and the conditioner was—well you get the point. Ahhhhh I feel so crappy today! I just wonder what our world would be like without showers. I guess it would be pretty much the same. We’d all stink more but we wouldn’t be able to tell because we’d be so used to it. I finally finished my science fair project and now my stomach is growling at me as if it thinks I will actually give it food. Poor thing, but I’ve decided not to eat a lot for a while. My cats are very loud tonight and they have decided to make my life miserable until I feed them. I’ve dieted before but nothing works.

wow. what can you really say about anything these days. Well some of you might be having the time of your life but for me day in and day out it’s the same, it’s boring, yet it still finds some way to be stressful. I figured out today that out of all 120 hours i have monday through friday i only have 44 of them as free-time that’s only like 36.667%  of monday through friday. I really am feeling stressed lately, but that means I’ve had more emotion and that means that I can write songs more easily. Please comment on my blog, because as a person I need my ego fueled by at least one person. Of course, here where I live nobody gives a crap about my ego and they tear it apart unmercifully. I’m seriously at the point where I’m not depressed. I just don’t care anymore. I got some awesome new songs on my iPod, but since it has been taken away by my absolutely postively ‘wonderful’ parents I cant tell you the awesomely awesome songs. I can, however tell you about my friends this year (no one really wants to be my friend for more than a year.)

Kaci= Hilarious. We’ve never had a fight. We  both have the same sense of humor, but we tone our funniness down around others so they don’t think we’re on crack or something. She is really confident in herself and she knows when to be quiet and when to speak out.

Molly= Yet another red head. Also hilarious. Seriously my new group of friends needs to have a TV show! I’m so proud of myself for picking this group!

I am proud to say that I only like one boy right now. He’s popular and unattainable. So, until further notice all is right with the world. The geeks and freaks (me) are forever to crush on the most popular of the crowd. We will spend our whole lives trying to claw our way up to the top but truthfully in the end we will be even lower in the food chain then at the beginning because we wouldn’t have been ourselves. You can most definately quote me on this: THE HARDER YOU TRY TO BE SOMETHING YOUR NOT, THE MORE PEOPLE WILL SEE THROUGH YOUR LITTLE ACT. So seriously just be yourself, because face it, you’re you no matter where you shop or what you look like.

Ok lately I’ve been like super obsessed with my iPod and iTunes. I actually think music is taking over my life, and I’m okay with that. It is 4:30 in the morning and I am far from being tired. I’ve been super stressed with school. I’m in all AP classes this year (which sucks) I’m making a 71 in science which is better than my grade at the begining of this six weeks which was a freakin’ 31. When I get angry I just blog it out even though I know that no one EVER  reads my blog so that makes this the absolute safest place in the world. I’m in like with 4 boys (which is way too many to be crushin’ on, but I don’t really like them I’m just bored with my own boring life so I fill the void by liking a boy or two…. or ten. So I don’t like any of the boys who I mentioned in my last post. I’ve matured (a little bit) So here are all of the people that I like:

Spencer= He’s two years older than me (so I have virtually no chance), but he’s really nice and our families are friends, so I had to find some way to tolerate him so I just coaxed my brain into thinking that I liked him so I cant totally ignore him now.

Justin= One of my very hot violin friends (Musical dudes are cute). We’ve gone to the same violin place since about first grade (well he was in second grade). We were friends, but then we both went through that awkward stage where we didn’t really know how to act around each other. So we don’t talk much anymore, but I would give almost anything to be able to go up to him and start talking to him like nothing ever happened and see him replying to me, and we would be friends again. Like last week I was taller than him but this week he’s like the freakin’ statue of liberty compared to a garden gnome!

Robert= He was at the school I go to up to about mid 6th grade but then he left, and this year he decided to come back to school with all of us. He is definitely the class clown. He’s talkative. He tries to freak out me and my friends by saying stuff like “I love strawberry-cream, it’s georgeous like your hair.” to me ( and I have strawberry-blonde hair, but no person my age except him has ever complimented on my hair so that felt pretty good. His only problem is he needs to shut up in class so he doesn’t get kicked out of AP science.

Reese= My fourth grade boyfriend. Friends with a guy named Christian who is dating one of my friends named Meredith. Really funny. Amazing mind. He’s just so smart at everything and has this high sense of humor that you can only get if your really smart. So thats cool. I really want him to like.

Now here are some more of my friends:

Meredith= Dating Reese’s friend, Christian. Meredith is always so encouraging, and is always there to cheer you up when your feeling bad. You know if you have her as a friend you will never have to worry about getting super-depressed. Unless she’s depressed too. Then all you can do is hide under a desk, and cry until you die of starvation as you are twitching in the corner as you feel the life and tears draining out of you.But if she’s not depressed everythings good!

Sarah= One of my dance friends. She’s a fellow red-head, and she’s really nice. She knows my sister, and is really sweet about everything. She’s more on the quiet side, but it’s more of a quietly confident kinda thing. Not anything like my friends at school. She’s a nice breath of fresh air at dance class.

Stacie= My cousin. She’s really nice even though we don’t have tons of time to talk about anything anymore with our packed schedules. I really want to be best friends with her like we were when we were in like second grade.Oh well things just have a way of working themselves out.

CHRISTINA NEWS: Oddly enough Christina and I are becoming good friends. Which is weird, but guess what things of all things brought a cheerleader and a secretly dancing geek together—books!—The Twilight series is the best, and we are both reading the series, so I’m letting her borrow the books after I fininsh them. I finished the first one in one night and the second one in one night. I can’t wait to see what happens.

Okay. For the past two months  Rebecca, Annie, and Samantha have been ignoring me. Lyle and Robert are still my friends though (and before you ask neither of them are gay), but I want to introduce you to more of my friends. So here they are:

Anna= One minute she likes me the next minute she doesn’t even want to be in the same room with me. She is bossy, rude, and yet she’s super easy to talk to, doesn’t hit you hard (if your careful) and never kicks you when your down. Loves horses hates people.

Bethany= Nice, hyper, doesn’t need another grain of sugar for the rest of her life, and happens to share my name with me. She’s got a mind of her own won’t let anybody tell her what to do but she is quiet.

Carrie= First one who talked to me when I moved schools in second grade. Still one of my best friends. We almost never get into fights, and she is always understanding of my problems. We are total opposites. She likes soccer I like dance. She is a dog person but I could not live for more than a day without seeing a cat. She likes chocolate milk I like white. As I said before we are total opposites yet we are very in sync.

Haley= One of Carries friends, but not as great of a friend as me. Had a nasty rumor earlier in the year. She has had a very hard home life, but won’t cooperate with anyone.

Maddie=Another one of Carries best friends but also one of my best friends. Has an amazing voice ( better than the girl Roberts going out with), but everyone puts her down about her voice. She has both a high self esteem and a low self esteem problem. She knows she’s good and she’s not afraid to show it, but when the curtains are closed, the lights are off, and the audience has long been cleared out, she feels as if she doesn’t belong, because everybody thinks that Roberts girlfriend is better than her. Truthfully, however, Maddie is so much better than Robert’s girlfriend (oh yeah her name is Christina). Anyways Maddie is so much better than Christina, but it’s how Christina looks that is really what wins the crowd over. It’s not that Christina is skinnier than Maddie or even more pretty than Maddie. It’s only one thing. The only thing boys at our school will date you for : if your short. I guess that the boys feel like if the girls are small they are vulnerable, helpless, and unprotected. So they think hey I could protect her and make her feel unlonely, and no matter how frikin’ ugly, mean, stupid, weird, dorkish, or brainless the girls are, they always make up excuses for why they like her like ” She has a great personality” or “She’s so funny” and I’ve even heard this one before “Well…Um…gosh there are..ummmmm…so many reasons that I just cant think of one (yeah right)”. Where, may you ask does that leave us who are over the 4feet 6inch limit? In the dirt, hopelessly crushing on guys that will never like us because of our size, hating them for being so shallow, yet wanting them to be your best friend ever. Anyways though Maddie is really nice.

Katie= Crazy. There’s nothing more you can say about Katie.

Tina= The closest thing to popular I’ve got. Sometimes nice. Sometimes ignores me. Mostly a great person. It’s really weird we used to be like worst friends in 3rd grade, but then one thing brought us together as friends and it’s totally random but here it is: A Lesley Gore song titled “It’s my party”. Tina, two other girls, and I sang this for a show at our school. It was fun. We’ve been pretty good friends ever since.

John= Here’s your love triangle of the day: John likes a girl (not Tina), Tina likes John, the girl and Tina are the best of friends, but I’m suspecting that there is a little silent argument going on ( a silent argument is like shooting your friend mean looks when their backs are turned but when they are together they act inseperable). I’m not sure if the girl likes John back, but if she does and John and her go out that will leave Tina heartbroken, and angry. Tina will probably loose the girl as a best friend, but when John and the girl break up (if they break up) Tina will start going for John again or she will have gotten over him, but either way I don’t think that the friendship between the girl and Tina will ever revive.

Christina= You already know a little about Christina. She’s the worst kind of person you could meet. She has her little minions following her every step. Walking in her shadow. Copying her every move, breath, step, and finger twitch. All of the minions are bratty and Christina-wanna-bes. Her little followers are named Sandy, Lizzie, and Lilly.

Sandy= Short (who would’ve guessed). Fat but not like whole body fat. Just that brat fat like they have their butt permenantly stuck out, their stomachs puffed out, and a tiny bit of fat in their thighs but not enough to count as truly fat. Has a new hair style every week and I’m not talking normal like one week pigtails and one week ponytails. I’m talkin’ one week brown with blond highlights to the shoulder, and then the next week light brown with no highlights cut near the middle of the neck. It’s like totally crazy.

Lizzie= A little taller than the normal short. Keeps her hair up all the frikin time! Cheerleader (Do I need say anything else?) BRAT BRAT BRAT BRAT BRAT!!!!!

Lilly= Short (Wow haven’t heard that before) Long hair.( Just to be clear I don’t hate short people I just hate it when they act like they’re better than everyone just because they’re short) Black hair. Dumb. Stupid. The worst of the Christina Minions.

That’s all I have for today. Until next time this is Fleebob434. Signing off!!!

Ok. I am just so tired, and I don’t even know what to write. So I’m staring at a pack of Ritz Bits sandwiches with cheese trying not to run to them, open them up and eat them all in two second’s flat!!!!I feel like no one understands how unpopular I am. Parents are good for everything except sympathy for NOT being popular, and they are soooo convinced that popular means nice to everybody and has a lot of friends, and I keep trying to convince her that popular at my school means mean, rude, hurtful, pretty, rich, and for some reason ,even though you hat their guts, you want to be their best friends, you want to talk to them without their friends laughing and teasing the person you talked to that they just talked to a nerd, and most of all you just want to BE them, because you think your life won’t be complete until you do. Do y’all get what I am saying? Lyle isn’t really best friends with Robert anymore. I don’t even know why. They just kind of faded apart. They’re not really in a fight but you can tell that they just don’t like being friends or even being around each other anymore. I’m starting to feel the same way with Rebecca, but if I lose Rebecca I would also lose Annie and Samantha which scares me the most, and even though Rebecca is moving and everyone else is staying I’ll still feel alone, because Lyle doesn’t really talk to me anymore, and it is out of the question of being friends with Robert because of his little silent fight with Lyle, and once I lose Rebecca, Annie, Samantha, Lyle, AND Robert I won’t know where else to turn but to the Lord. I’ve always turned to the Lord. I am a Christian and I am not afraid to say it. I’m not really sure why I’m even getting this deep in a blog that probably no one reads, but I think it’s actually really really necessarry. I mean that’s why I got a blog in the first place!!!!